Getting It All Together

It's only 11:00am right now and I am already ready for a nap! I start my new job on the 2nd and have been busy getting all the paperwork together.

I work in childcare, caring for children between 2 months through 24 months. Caring for children is my whole life and the one main thing I have always been good at. A lot of people have tried to take this away from me. Mainly because I stand up for myself and for the children in my care. I ahve never been scared to tell administration exactly what was up. A lot of places don't want you to have a mind or opinions. Just come in and take care of the kids.

To a lot of people, we are4 often considered just "babysitters". We are not. Child Development is a skill and babysitters do not go to school, pay tons of money for tution for a degree. Just because we are not in grade school does not make us any less teachers.

Without childcare, many people could not go to work. Parents trust us with their most precious cargo; their children. Yet we are often on the bottom of the barrel as far as benefits and salary.

We are also treated poorly by parents as well. We can never do a single thing that they cannot do better. I often chalk this up to jealousy. We are doing what parents want to be doing themselves. Stay home with their babies.

Time To Eat Crow

OK. That Friend I was mad at for not showing up to my house just informed me that her grandmother was in the hospital. My head told me to be mad, but my heart said "something is not right". I am glad I finally listened to my heart and called her again. I feel fate but her back in my life for a reason and I don't think that same fate would allow the friendship to dissolve that quickly..

I also heard from my cousin Malia today. One of my most favorite people in the world, whom I have not heard from in a long time. After some bad things I did, I honestly thought she and her brother just didn't want to have anything to do with me. I was wrong. I was practically in tears just knowing it was her calling. I think God is forgiving me since he is bringing so many people back into my life. I hope I don't disappoint again.

This Is My Cousin

When It Rains It Pours

Well I was suppose to have friends over to my house today. One is canceled because she is going through major stuff. Point is she called and canceled. My other "friend" said she was coming over yet never did and never bothered to even call. Just completely left me hanging the entire day. We all got back together as friends after a very long separation. I had hoped we had changed our ways and become more adult and responsible. Well, two out of three did..

Bad Karma

OK. I uderstand the phrase what goes around comes around and everything, but damn. The things I keep going through have been taking that statement to a whole other level. I was waiting for my unemployment check to come in the mail. It should have been here yesterday ( Friday the 22nd Of August) but it never showed up. So I thought, OK..Calm down, there is no reason why it won't come Saturday..Well there was a reason: I am paying for all the bad things I must have down in a previous life, and those few bad things I did in this life. My new job depended on me getting this check in time, so obviously I wished too hard and my wish didn't come true.

Of course my mother had to rub salt in my wound ( just like she always does). Called her up just to vent and she calls me back about an hour later. She sent me money express and their would be a lecture that would with it. Like it's my fault my mail didn't come. I often think my mother feels better about herself, when things fuck up in my life. Seems to give her a sense of purpose.

Many of my posts are going to be about my mother.....

Anthony Xavier Menjivar May 18, 2002 - March 11, 2007

No one should ever go through the pain my friend Sandra went through. I make this my first post as Anthony was a beautiful little boy and he is resting in the arms of God. I know he is looking down on me. I miss you Anthony.